It Gets Better

In light of recent news followed by a video message from Ellen DeGeneres, all of which I'd like to call It Gets Better Movement, here's my 2 cents.

Before pointing fingers and blaming people - because that's way too easy - I'd like to think why people are acting the certain way and how to best understand them. Why do people bully each other? I get that there are some people who just get on your nerves or simply annoy you, and that's natural. Unless you are one of those extraordinary people who can just love everyone, chances are, there will be people who we love AND hate in our lives. That's okay, as long as you don't channel that hate energy to do something very destructive.

By the way, by "people we hate in our lives" I mean people who are otherwise good person but you are somehow annoyed by them - I'm trying to get into bully's perspective here - not people who are just morally wrong.  I get a feeling that there's all the talk on HOW it's a bad thing but no one's really thinking WHY. I don't think you can solve the problem without understanding both ends.

I think it's quite natural for us human beings to be intimidated by character traits that are different and thus unknown from the rest of us. After all, our immune system does fight against things that are foreign and hostile to our body, right? But here's the thing: it's not a cold virus, it's people we're talking about. Before we go into fight mode, we should all take a moment to understand the differences and make the unknown known. Then, you might be surprised to realize that a "freak" and a "weirdo" is not so much a "freak" and a "weirdo" after all. They may not be like you in many ways, but it doesn't make them a bad person. It's okay that people are different, because that's how we learn - through differences. Before you slap a stereotypical label on a person, think again. All it takes is an effort to get to know your classmate, your teammate, your colleague, and your future friend. It doesn't hurt to take that effort. If you become friends with that person as a result, that's awesome! But if it's still not working out, move on, and I'd say don't keep bothering that person after it became clear that you and that said person don't get along.

Take a look at the history of mankind and you'll see that it's ridiculously easy to hate and ridiculously hard to love (within the moral standards). Just pick any given disputes and you'll learn that the very most underlying cause comes down to: "this person A didn't like this person B (insert excuses here) and hey, while we're at it, let's shoot some huge guns at each other." Seriously? That's only fun when it's a plot of some action flick. So the question is, are you one of those people who learned something and decided to give the hard way a shot?

Lastly to the bullied: seriously, it freaking gets better. In 5 years, maybe less, those people who are causing you pain won't matter to you anymore. If you want some kind of "ha! take that bully!" satisfaction, LIVE. Live, work your butt off, and have one successful life. I'd say that's WAY better than you being stuck 6 feet under becoming a full course dinner to the bugs, don't you think?

xx-N