Peer Pressure Madness

After writing the "light" article on movies, I feel like writing something that's not entertainment-related. As someone who religiously follows current events, I have to say, last year was too bleak. So. Many. Conflicts. I'm not a full-fledged history buff (more like an ancient history buff), and even I know that the quickest way to recount a history of mankind is to just list battles and wars in chronological order. You would think that after thousands of years, things would have improved for good - or is that wishful thinking?

Then, I started to map out levels of conflicts, and it came out like this:

War > Battle > Huge Riot > Small Riot > All Sorts of Random Fight > Bullying > Peer Pressure

In my mental map, it boiled down to peer pressure, and having lived through teenager hell, I can totally write about that bit.

Often, people cave into peer pressure because they are just "going with the flow" and "everyone's doing it." It's very tough to stand up for what you believe is just regardless of your age, but I would say it's most tough when you're just a teenager and classroom relationship is your life. I do admit that there was a time when I caved into peer pressure and said something I did not mean at all. I'm not proud of it. I sincerely hope I didn't hurt someone in the process, and if I did, I'm deeply sorry. People say that you have to be in the situation to really understand how it feels. As someone who has been on the resisting end and caving end of the peer pressure, I can say with conviction that I will never again be on the caving end.

After I was on the caving end of the peer pressure, I thought back to the times when I stood up for my friends, even if it meant that I got bullied instead. Being a teenager has its benefits in that you tend to act more on instincts. Sometimes, it's better to act on instincts and doing what is right, rather than making a quick pros and cons list in your head. Here's why...

I think I was in the early teens when this happened. I transferred to a new middle school, and had few friends. Keep in mind that being on the chubby end, complete with Harry Potter glasses and a thick book didn't place me with the "cool" clique. Not that I really cared much about being with the "cool" clique - I didn't even know such thing existed till I got out of high school. So at first, the bullies in the class left me alone because I had my nose stuck in my book too often to really care about the bullies in the first place.

Then one day, the bullies did something that pissed me off greatly. They decided to pick on this kid who was very quiet and nice (not the kind that would fight back), and went ahead and just threw his stationery in a trash can. I didn't know this bullied kid well, but I felt that it was so wrong to do that to anyone, so I confronted one of the bully, gave the bully a good lecture that you don't do that crap to people, and told the bully to apologize. I suppose it worked in a sense that the bully stopped picking on that kid. What I didn't know (nor made the connection back then) was that the bully decided to pick on me instead. And that was the beginning of 5 years of bullying that pretty much went on until middle school graduation.

Did I hate the fact that I got constantly bullied and not a single one of my so-called friends back then stood up for me? Absolutely. Will I stand up for that kid again? Again, absolutely. It's the right thing to do. How did I deal with the bullies? I gave them a silent treatment and never spoke with them ever again. I think it worked in a sense that as the years went by, the bullying frequency decreased. I don't believe in fighting back violence with violence. Maybe this is why every single time I take the "Which Hogwards house will you be in?" quiz, I get Gryffindor. Can I get my owl letter from Hogwarts already?

In all seriousness, I think if everyone decided to do the right thing, then we wouldn't have any conflicts in the world. I know that one person rarely makes a difference on a world-wide scale, but I'd like to hope that I'm making some difference in the lives of people I care about. It doesn't have to be "save the kid from a bully" everyday. You can give someone a hug, a compliment, anything to show them that you care and that they are not alone. Doing the right thing isn't always easy, but I believe that some good will come out of it. Hopefully, those good deeds will take on an exponential curve....ok now that's a wishful thinking. But I can still believe in the good in people, right?

xx-N